The Quiet Man
by GriffinStar
Summary: A story of how, despite everything, the romance develops between Bates and Anna. Starting from the very beginning when John Bates first arrives at Downton. Story continues in 'To Have and to Hold' the 'M' rated sequel
1. Chapter 1

_I own none of the characters of Downton Abbey._

**The Quiet Man**

**Chapter 1- How it all began - Bates**

As the train neared his destination, John Bates stared out of the window and took a deep breath to calm his nerves – nerves that he would never allow to be apparent to anyone else. He had learnt how to present a seemingly calm, dignified face to the world, whatever turmoil was going on in his head - and he had had plenty of turmoil to practice with, that was for sure. But none of that mattered any more. He'd been given a lifeline, an opportunity to make a new start with his life, and he was going to grab it with both hands, and give it everything he had.

Robert Crawley, the Earl of Grantham, was the very best of men as John knew from serving as his batman in the Boer war. Now he was determined to repay his kindness in giving him this lifeline by working tirelessly to be the best valet to him that he could possibly be. He was determined that his lameness would not be a hindrance in any way, and he would work twice as hard as the next man to prove it.

**xXx**

John looked round at the sea of faces regarding him – not all were friendly, he quickly noticed. He'd caught them unawares; he'd arrived at Downton Abbey earlier than expected by catching the milk train, eager to get started, to make a good impression. No one had heard him knocking at the back door, so eventually he had made his own way in, just as some of the female staff had re-appeared from upstairs, busily talking amongst themselves.

"I've been waiting at the back door. I knocked but no one came," John explained as they stared at him.

"So you pushed in." A woman with dark hair and an unwelcoming expression stated, with a look of disdain as she stared at his crippled leg and walking stick.

He ignored this and introduced himself.

"I'm John Bates, the new valet."

Now everyone stared at him, their eyes all trailing down to stare at his leg and his walking stick.

The only one amongst them to show any kind of a welcome was a slim, pretty, fair haired girl, who came over to shake his hand.

"I'm Anna, the Head Housemaid," she explained as she introduced herself with a friendly smile. John gratefully shook her hand and smiled back.

The dark haired woman introduced herself too.

"I'm Miss O'Brien, her ladyship's maid. You'd better come along with us," she told him begrudgingly; clearly she thought he wasn't at all suitable for the valet position. This made John pull himself up to stand tall and look her back straight in the eye, determined to prove that he _would_ be able to manage.

As they went through to the kitchen, Anna flashed him a small, cheeky, almost conspiratorial smile as if to say 'ignore her'. It meant more than John was able to say to have that small friendly gesture from her.

The rest of the staff, including the cook and the butler, clearly shared Miss O'Brien's misgivings as they questioned him and raised similar doubts about his ability to fulfil his duties. Clearly they all felt that they had enough work to keep them occupied, without having to put up with someone who wouldn't be able to pull his weight.

"I can manage," he kept repeating, determined to keep his temper and his dignity.

"Of course he can," Anna piped up, flashing him another little smile. It seemed he had one ally at least in this unfriendly place.

A young, rather sour faced footman by the name of Thomas, led him to his room, gloating it seemed to John when he showed him the many stairs that he had to climb to reach it. Quite clearly Thomas resented him. He'd probably wanted the post of his Lordship's valet himself, John thought, and made a mental note to watch his back with that one. His instincts, which were rarely wrong these days, were that he was not to be trusted.

The room was sparse and basic but spotlessly clean - perfect as far as John was concerned. It would be heaven for him – after the other places he had lived in over recent times. A room all to himself was more than he'd dared to hope for.

"Oh yes, I should be comfortable here," he sighed to himself in relief.

**xXx**

Over the next few days, John kept his head down and settled in to his duties. It was plain that there was a lot of whispering going on behind his back, mostly from Miss O'Brien and Thomas he suspected. He swore that he'd heard mutterings between them about '_Long John Silver'_, clearly a reference to him.

He had, however, savoured the look on all their faces on his first day, when his Lordship had come down to the staff kitchen at lunchtime to personally welcome him to Downton – it had taken the wind right out of Mr. Carson the butler's sails, because he had just been lecturing John rather pompously about not being overawed in the presence of a Lord, assuming that he had not had dealings with the aristocracy before.

So now the other servants knew that he had a special connection with Lord Grantham. Everyone understood that the loyalty between war time comrades was very strong. So they didn't say too much in front of him, but John knew that things were being said about him 'upstairs'. Why else would his Lordship question him, ask if he was sure that he could manage, and was he sure that it wasn't all too much for him. Someone had clearly been putting doubts in his mind. It didn't take too much working out just who that could be either.

John's heart sunk at Robert's questioning of him. His worst fear would be to be let go – what other gainful employment would he ever hope to be able to find? Especially with his past. He felt guilty that he had kept a lot of things from his Lordship when he had written asking if there was a possibility of employment, but he was determined to work tirelessly to give him no reason to doubt his decision to employ his old batman.

So of course John had immediately reassured his Lordship that he had no problems, that he was very happy in his work, and very happy living at Downton Abbey, which was true, because he loved it here. The fine house and surroundings may not belong to him, but that didn't mean he couldn't look at and appreciate his surroundings as he worked.

The only person who really showed him any kind of friendship or support was Anna. A little look here, a friendly smile there, let him know that she was on his side. When his leg gave way as he stood up to pass a tray of cutlery to Gwen, one of the housemaids, and it fell to the floor with an almighty crash, it was, of course, Anna who immediately helped to pick them up.

But he didn't dare let himself think about Anna, much as he might want to. She was such a fine girl, not just with her pretty looks, but in her decent, honest and determined outlook. Whatever lucky man managed to win her would have a very fine wife indeed. But it couldn't be him, he knew with a bitter heart, so there was no point in encouraging her in any way. Yet he couldn't resist being her friend, his only one in the servant's hall, and he found himself looking out for her, and feeling ridiculously glad when he spotted her, relishing the little smiles she sent him. But it was with a very heavy heart that he knew that he could never let things develop any further between them – she wouldn't want it either, not if she knew more about him.

So he just kept his head down and worked as hard as he could to overcome the other servants prejudice against him. Young William was a decent lad who willingly helped him out with any duties that he struggled with, but Thomas resented this bitterly, and bullied William even more than usual because of it. John's initial instinct that Thomas was someone not to be trusted was proving to be increasingly accurate – he was a nasty piece of work. John was sure that it was Thomas that had been whispering complaints about him to Carson the butler, just as Anna had hinted to him that Miss O'Brien was poisoning her ladyship against him to influence her husband.

**xXx**

And then it all came to a horrid conclusion, and it meant that he had to leave. He was in the depths of despair, wondering how on earth he could go on. No one would employ a cripple like him, his war time connection to the Earl of Grantham had been his only lifeline to gain a job. And now it had been sabotaged.

It had been so humiliating too. Ending up flat on his face in front of the Duke of Crowborough and the whole Crawley family, as all the servants had lined up. Now there was absolutely no doubt that Miss O'Brien was out to get him, for it was her who had knocked his walking stick out from under him, knowing full well that he was relying on it to keep his balance. The look of absolute horror on Carson's face had said it all. John knew instantly that his days at Downton were numbered, whatever his connection to the his Lordship.

And of course it was Anna, dear sweet Anna, who had helped him to his feet, and then tried to reassure him, to make him feel better. His pride had kicked in, making him say to her,

"Please don't feel sorry for me," as he'd pulled himself together and tried to walk back to the servants quarters with as much dignity as he could muster. He couldn't bear to see the look of pity in her eyes, much as he appreciated her concern for him.

Miss O'Brien had picked the perfect moment to act against him– his fate was sealed. He could see the struggle that his Lordship faced, balancing the needs of his team of loyal servants to keep them happy, against his loyalty to his ex comrade from the war. John found himself practically begging to stay, offering to take a cut in wages, but it was to no avail. He was to leave in the morning.

That evening he simply couldn't face sitting with the others at their evening meal, so he claimed to be too unwell to join them. As he sat alone in his room, the room that he'd hoped would be his for a long time to come, an overwhelming feeling of despair washed over him, and he broke down, sobs wracking his body.

All his efforts, all his hard work and determination, all the gritting of his teeth to ignore the agonising pain in his leg, all had been for nothing. He didn't blame his Lordship, he'd obviously been torn, and he was a decent man, trying to do his best for everyone, John understood that.

But what was he to do now? He had nowhere to go, no prospect of any kind of job, obviously crippled as he was. Was there any point in even trying to go on? Maybe he should just end it all…

Then he was disturbed by the sound of Anna's voice out in the corridor, calling his name. He couldn't let her see him like this, so he quickly wiped his eyes and pulled himself together.

The dear, sweet, thoughtful girl had brought him a tray of food, her deep concern for him showing in her eyes. Why should such a lovely lass take an interest in a lost cause such as himself? He'd asked himself that question many times recently when she smiled at him, he really didn't understand it, but she was wasting her time in any case. If she knew about the _real_ John Bates, she'd recoil in horror, he was sure. It was yet another bitter thought for him that he couldn't even contemplate showing any kind of interest in her, aside from polite friendship.

Her worried little face as she told him how they were sorry he was going, and asked him to drop them a line to let them know that he was alright – John knew that what she really meant was that _she_ was sorry, no one else would give him a second thought once he'd left, mostly they would just be glad to see the back of him.

He put on his bravest of brave faces to reassure her, to tell her that he would be fine, and that she wasn't to worry. She was like a little angel to him, stopping him from feeling sorry for himself and thinking such very dark thoughts as he had been. If only things could have been different, but it was no good wishing for things that simply couldn't be.

So for Anna's sake, as he left the following morning he put his shoulders back and walked out of Downton with as much pride and dignity as he could muster, so that she wouldn't be ashamed of him. He owed her that much at least. Her last memory of him would be one that she could be proud of, not one that she would be ashamed to recall.


	2. Chapter 2

_I own none of the characters of Downton Abbey._

**The Quiet Man**

**Chapter 2 - How it all began - Anna**

The first time that Anna Smith saw John Bates, her heart leapt in her chest. He stood in the doorway, such a big powerful bear of a man, but with a calm, quiet presence about him. All anyone else seemed to notice was his crippled leg and his walking stick, but she saw beyond that in an instant. He maintained his quiet dignity even when O'Brien was so rude to him, although Anna noticed his cheek muscle twitch, indicating the control that he was exercising to remain polite in the face of such hostility.

She found that she couldn't help herself, as they went through to the kitchen following Miss O'Brien's reluctant lead - she smiled at Mr. Bates to show him that she didn't share the others' disdain for him. She was rewarded by a little twinkle in his eye as he gave her a tiny smile back. He had understood and appreciated her gesture, as she had somehow known that he would.

All any of the others seemed to be concerned about was how Mr. Bates would manage with his crippled leg. Mrs Hughes and Mrs Patmore seemed more worried about the fact that others might have to help him than anything else, despite Mr. Bates assuring them time and time again that he could manage. Anna could feel his frustration, and so she couldn't help piping up,

"Of course he can," in his defence. Why couldn't they just give the man a chance, for goodness sake?

Somehow she just knew that he _would_ manage, she could sense that he would not let anyone down, and she also decided there and then that she would not hesitate to help him in whatever way she could.

Her faith in her gut instinct was rewarded at lunch time.

His Lordship took the very unusual step of coming downstairs to the kitchen whilst they were having their lunch, to personally give a very warm welcome to Mr. Bates, exclaiming,

"Bates, my dear fellow!" before explaining to everyone that he had been his batman in the army during the Boer war.

She couldn't ever recall such an occurrence happening before, and she felt a sense of pride that her initial instinct had been proved correct. If his Lordship, who was indisputably a respectable and honourable man, held Mr. Bates in such high regard, then it was beyond doubt that he _was_ such a man. Once his Lordship had left, she looked round at the expressions of astonishment on the faces of the other members of staff, and then glanced at Mr. Bates. He was allowing himself the luxury of enjoying the moment, saying,

"Well you never asked," as the staff looked at him questioningly.

Anna smiled back at him, hoping that her smiled conveyed the fact that _she_ had not doubted his integrity for one moment. Somehow she knew that he understood her gesture.

**xXx**

Over the next few days and weeks, Anna tried to analyse just why she felt so attracted to him, because she couldn't deny that as soon as John Bates had spoken with his deep, smooth voice, she _had_ felt an attraction to him.

He was quite a lot older than her, but she realised that that was part of the attraction. He was a _man_, not a boy. She had no interest in some of the silly young men that she came into contact with. Daisy mooned over Thomas, thinking him so handsome, but with his sneering, horrid manner he held no interest for Anna.

She wasn't put off by Mr. Bates' injured leg. If anything, the way that he coped with it made her admire him even more – it showed his true courage in her opinion. It was just a shame that the others didn't seem to see him like that.

But maybe his injury also explained why, although he returned her smiles and often looked over in her direction, he also kept his distance. He no doubt assumed that she would not be interested in a man with an injury such as his. But he was wrong.

She also realised very quickly that Thomas had had his nose put out of joint by the appointment of Bates as valet to his Lordship. He'd wanted that job, such a role would have meant that he would be privy to a lot of key information, and he also believed that he would have been able to exert his subtle influence over his Lordship. Anna felt sure that his Lordship was not that keen on him, because Thomas was the kind of man that wasn't to be trusted; he was only interested in anything that led to his own personal gain. Much the same could be said for Miss O'Brien, who had also taken against Bates, seeming to suspect him of being some sort of spy for the 'other side'. Several times now Anna had come across them whispering together, looking around furtively, leading to her saying to them,

"You two can stay here plotting" so that they knew she was aware of what they were up to and that she didn't trust them one bit.

Her fears were confirmed when one evening as she helped Lady Mary to dress, she told her that O'Brien had informed Mama that Bates wasn't coping, much as she'd suspected she might. O'Brien was clearly trying to get Lady Grantham to influence her husband against Mr. Bates – wicked woman.

But maybe Anna had underestimated just how wicked she could be. Bad as all the whispering was, it paled into insignificance compared to what Miss O'Brien did next. It was truly a nasty deed.

Causing Mr. Bates to fall over, by kicking his walking stick from him, in front of the whole family, in front of the Duke of Crowborough, in front of all the servants – that was pure evil in Anna's eyes. The poor man was mortified, as she could well understand. His pride was severely wounded and he had shrugged off her efforts to help him, to reassure him that everything was alright.

Anna tried to tell herself that it wouldn't mean that his Lordship would let Bates go, but she was fooling herself. His Lordship was a very fair and just man, but if Carson felt that he was not up to the job and was impairing the workings of the house, then he would have no option but to let Bates go. And so it transpired.

Word soon spread that Mr. Bates would leaving in the morning, and the look of glee on Thomas and Miss O'Brien's faces was only too apparent. Mr. Carson lectured them all about how Mr. Bates was leaving without a stain on his character, but what good did that do for him? He was now without a job, and Anna worried that it would be virtually impossible for him to find another place. Crippled as he so obviously was, prospective employers would take one look at him and immediately rule him out without a second thought, never giving him the chance to show what a decent man he was.

That evening Anna found an excuse to go up to Mr. Bates room, by offering to take a tray of food up to him. She just had to see him before he left, to somehow let him know, in some small way, that she cared for him. It shook her to the very core to hear him sobbing as she walked along the corridor approaching his room. She stood for a moment, unsure of what to do, She knew that it would wound his pride immeasurably if she were to walk in on him crying, so in the end she called out his name to let him know she was there, and pretended not to have heard anything.

Clearly he was deeply upset, but being the kind of man that he was, he put a brave face on things for her, and reassured her that he would be fine, promising to let her know when he was settled somewhere else.

And so, the following morning she watched the big bear of a man that she had started to fall in love with walk out of Downton Abbey. He held his head up high, going out into the big wide world yet again, to find a new life - without her. And she felt that her heart would break.


	3. Chapter 3

_I own none of the characters of Downton Abbey._

**The Quiet Man**

**Chapter 3 **

It was with great regret that Robert Crawley watched as Bates went over and got into the waiting car to take him – and the wretched Duke of Crowborough – to the station to catch the nine o'clock train early the following morning. Bates walked as upright and proudly as he was able, without a backwards glance. Robert regarded him as a first rate man, he had been the finest comrade when they had served together in the Boer war out in South Africa. It had been sheer hell, and they had lived through some of the worst experiences of his life at that time. Now because of the injury that he had sustained during that war – rescuing a wounded comrade if his memory served him correctly – he was being let go from his job – on _his _say so.

Robert felt terrible, and his conscience was really plaguing him about it. He knew that in reality Bates would find it virtually impossible to find a comparable position – or any position at all. If he was honest, he had been shocked himself at the extent of the damage to his leg when Bates had first arrived, and might not have employed him had he known the full extent beforehand. But as always, John Bates worked tirelessly and diligently and had settled in really well.

It was only because of Carson stating that it was unacceptable to the rest of the staff that he wasn't able to fulfil some of the extra duties normally expected of the person in that role, that Robert had reluctantly agreed that he should be let go. If it was only up to him…but what on earth was he thinking – it _was_ up to him, _he_ was the Duke for crying out loud, not Carson!

Robert ran out to the car, just as it started to move off,

"Wait!" he shouted, "Get out Bates."

He ignored Crowborough's protests about causing a delay as he removed Bates' bag from the car, and told him,

"Get back inside, and we'll say no more about it."

Bates didn't say a word, but the look of sheer relief on his face made Robert realise just how desperately he had wanted to stay.

"It wasn't right Carson. I just didn't think it was right," he told the butler, feeling much happier now that he had called Bates back, whatever the expression on Carson's face told him about his opinion on the matter.

Robert decided that it didn't matter what the usual duties of his valet were – for Bates they would adapt the role, and the rest of the staff, including dear old pompous Carson, would jolly well just have to get on with it.

**xXx**

Settling back into his room once more as he unpacked his few personal belongings into the room that had quickly become his little private sanctuary, John couldn't quite believe that he had been reprieved. Relieved was too weak a description for how he felt. He could almost feel himself want to sob again, but he quickly pulled himself together, determined to work even harder to repay his Lordships' kindness.

He'd seen the incredulous look on Anna's face as he had made his way back into the house again. It warmed his heart to see her look when she realised that he was back in the employ of his Lordship. But the poor girl was under some illusion that he was a good man, and rather than shatter that illusion, he felt that it would be kinder to her not to let himself be drawn any closer to her, however hard that would be for him.

But at least he knew that whatever else happened, dear Anna would always be his ally, she would always be someone that he could trust and rely on, and that was a very good feeling. He now knew exactly who his enemies were, and what depths they would stoop to, to get rid of him. He would have to be on his guard - he couldn't afford to ever entirely relax or take for granted his position here at Downton.

**xXx**

As Anna sat with Mrs Patmore on the train taking them to London, she stared out of the window, and thought about the last two years. Two years that she had tried in vain to get to know the real John Bates, to get closer to him. For a long time, despite all her attempts, all she had had from him were hints and cryptic answers – although she'd been sure that he had feelings for her to match her own very strong feelings.

Like the time when she had a bad cold and had been resting in bed – he had brought up a tray for her, complete with a little vase of flowers.

Like the time he had offered to help her to make the beds and they had supposedly been discussing Lady Edith's unrequited feelings for cousin Patrick. Mr. Bates had looked at her straight in the eye and said '_Perhaps Mr. Patrick did love her back, he just couldn't say it. Sometimes we're not at liberty to speak, sometimes it wouldn't be right'._

Like the time they were walking to the flower show, lagging behind the others so that they could talk quietly together, discussing why he had simply returned the missing snuff box rather than planting it in O'Brien's or Thomas's room. '_Nothing is harder that false hope', _he'd said cryptically.

Finally Anna had snapped at him,

"I wish you'd just come out with it. Whatever it is you're keeping secret." She'd had enough of his beating round the bush, hinting at his feelings and then retreating again.

So that was when he had finally confessed to her that he wasn't a free man, that he'd been married, and that there was more as well - but even then he still wasn't telling her everything.

Anna had thrown caution to the wind, and had decided that she had to tell him how she felt; she was going to burst if she didn't.

"I love you Mr. Bates. I know it's not ladylike to say it, but I'm not a lady and I don't pretend to be," she'd declared to him.

"You are a lady to me. I never knew a finer one," he'd told her sincerely. But he didn't say any more to her other than,

"I mustn't slow you down. There's been too much of that already," as he'd accepted a lift on a passing cart.

Bad as that had seemed, there had been worse to come. After the dreadful episode of him being accused of stealing wine, and then thankfully being cleared, she had finally found out what he'd meant when he'd said there was more to it.

He had made a terrible confession in front of her, Mrs Hughes and Mr. Carson.

'Until a couple of years ago, I was a drunkard and I was imprisoned as a thief. I masqueraded as a man of honesty and integrity but by any moral code I am disgraced'

He had then offered his resignation, and had seemed almost relieved to have come clean, to have got it off his chest and finally been honest. They were all stunned, and found it almost impossible to believe, because by now they had all come to regard Mr. Bates as a highly respectable and trustworthy man, but he refused to elaborate any further as to the circumstances of his imprisonment.

Anna went and found him afterwards, and asked if he would really leave. He had told her to go and dream of a better man, and she'd told him there wasn't one. They nearly kissed….until they heard a door opening and she had run back inside.

There just _had _to be a lot more to all this than he was saying, there had to be another explanation. Anna knew John Bates was no thief, and she was determined to find out just exactly what had happened.

**xXx**

And so the perfect opportunity to delve into the mystery of John Bates presented itself when his Lordship instructed Anna that she was to accompany Mrs Patmore when she went to London to have an eye operation in Moorfields hospital, and that they would be staying at his sisters new house in Belgrave Square.

Anna promised to visit Mrs Patmore in hospital every day to make sure that she was alright, but otherwise she had quite a lot of spare time to herself for a change, she was not expected to undertake any other duties in Lady Rosamond's house.

On her first day, as soon as she was able, Anna decided to start her enquiries at Mr. Bates old army barracks, as it was the only place she knew for certain that he had worked and lived. She knew that the soldier at the barracks didn't believe for one minute that she was John Bates 'cousin', but it didn't matter, he gave her the address of his mother here in London, which she felt would be a good starting point for her enquiries. He also dropped a big hint about John Bates, saying that it had all been an 'odd business', making another little piece of the puzzle that she was trying to put together.

She then made her way to see John's mother – perhaps now she would finally be able to get to the bottom of the matter. Her heart told her that John was not a thief, whatever he said, there _had_ to be another explanation of why he had ended up in prison.

John's mother was a little Irish lady whose curiosity was piqued by the arrival of a young lady on her doorstep, wanting to ask her some questions about her son.

"Well, you'd better come in then," she said, having eyed Anna up and down and apparently been satisfied with what she saw.

As they sat together in her parlour over a pot of tea, Mrs Bates quickly confirmed what Anna had suspected – that it _hadn't_ been John who had stolen the regimental silver. She suspected that this Anna Smith was rather sweet on her son John, and she quickly decided that she was rather pleased at the thought of this. Miss Smith seemed a very decent girl, who clearly believed in her son's innocence, and now seemed very determined to get to the bottom of things. So she gladly filled her in with the sorry tale when Anna demanded to know finally,

"Then who was it?"

"His wife, Vera. She worked at the barracks sometimes, helping at big dinners and so on. That night her opportunity came and she took it. They knew it was her, someone even saw her with a big carry all," Mrs Bates explained.

"Why did he confess?"

"Well, John wasn't the same man in those days. The African war had shaken him up and made him angry. He'd been wounded and he drank a lot more than was good for him."

"Was he violent?"

"No, no not violent, but he could be hard at times, with a tongue like a razor. He felt he'd ruined Vera's life. I thought she was just a nasty piece of work. But he confessed. There was nothing to be done once he'd confessed you see."

"And do you know where his wife is now?

"Not for sure, no. But I don't think she'd be too hard to track down, she's quite…notorious, round these parts shall we say. Why?"

"Well I was just wondering, maybe if I could talk to her…"

"Whatever are you thinking about – surely not _divorce_? I think you mean well, but sometimes it's best to let sleeping dogs lie, my dear." The very thought of divorce was shocking to Mrs Bates, it wasn't possible for people like them.

"Still, I'd like to talk to her if I could, maybe then I'd be able clear John's name " Anna insisted. She had to know, had to find out everything that she could, while she was here in London.

"Very well, I'll give you the last address I have for her, I expect they'll be able to tell you where you might find her now, even if she has moved on."

Mrs Bates found a piece of paper and wrote out an address for her in another part of the east end of London.

"I'll warn you now though Miss Smith, like I told you, she's a nasty piece of work, so you take care of yourself. I wish you all the best, and it's been a pleasure to meet you."

Anna smiled warmly at the older women as she made her way out, knowing that she had made a friend in Mrs Bates. They both knew that John Bates was a good and decent man, and it made her even more determined to prove it to the world.

**xXx**

The next day, Anna visited Mrs Patmore, who was recovering nicely and quite enjoying being waited on in the hospital. Duty done, she then quickly made her way to the address that Mrs Bates had given her.

Anna had to take a deep breath and muster all her courage as she found the street – the house was in a rather rough part of the east end of London, and she attracted quite a lot of curious stares as she made her enquiries. As Mrs Bates had told her, Vera Bates was rather well known, but unfortunately she no longer resided at that address – that would have been too simple – but Anna did manage to obtain a forwarding address that she had left. She made her way to this next address – her heart sank when she found that this street was even worse than the previous one. But she was no longer at that address either, and Anna was beginning to wonder just how many times Vera had moved house. This time there was no forwarding address either.

As she stood forlornly outside, wondering what to do next as it was getting late and she really ought to get back, a very course, untidy looking woman, clutching a rather grubby baby on her hip, came up to her.

"Erd you was looking for Vera Bates – that right?"

"Yes, yes it is, do you know where I might find her?"

"Wot you want to know for? Nice girl like you, looking for a cow like that?" the woman demanded to know, looking closely at Anna.

"I need to ask her some…some questions, get some information, that's all. So do you know where she is or not?" Anna asked irritably. She was tired and thought this was probably just someone else wasting her time. Her whole afternoon had been a frustrating waste of time that had led to a dead end.

"She got what she deserved. She's in hospital – if she's still alive that is. St Thomas' is where she ended up, gasping for breath, might have gasped her last for all I know. Couldn't happen to a nicer person," the woman told her with a nasty smile on her face.

"Right well, thank you for that, I'll go there tomorrow," Anna replied, grateful for what seemed a promising lead.

Maybe tomorrow she was finally going to meet Vera Bates. If she was in time.


	4. Chapter 4

_I own none of the characters of Downton Abbey._

**The Quiet Man**

**Chapter 4**

"You look very pale this morning – are you alright? Not sickening for anything I hope?" Lady Rosamund's kindly cook asked Anna the next morning, as she joined the other staff for breakfast.

"No, I'm fine, I just didn't sleep all that well, I expect I'm missing the fresh country air," Anna replied. She'd hardly slept a wink last night, tossing and turning as she played over in her mind everything that had happened the previous day. Her meeting with old Mrs Bates, the information that she had gleaned from her, the dreadful slum houses she'd visited trying to track down Vera, Mr Bates' wife.

Her imagination had gone into overdrive trying to imagine what this woman would be like. The woman that her John (she always referred to him as 'Mr. Bates' out loud, but privately she always thought of him as 'John') had married, that knew him in ways that she didn't. What would she look like? What had that horrid woman meant yesterday about her gasping for breath – what on earth was wrong with her? Anna couldn't wait to get on with the next stage of her quest, but first she had to go and visit Mrs Patmore after breakfast.

Moorfields eye hospital was only a short walk from Belgrave Square where Lady Rosamund's house was, so Anna happily walked there each day. She found the hustle and bustle of London so different from her normal life, having grown up in the country as a tenant farmers' daughter, with two sisters and three brothers. She had done very well for herself to reach the position of Head Housemaid at Downton Abbey, although her mother worried that she was in danger of being left on the shelf, that she should be married at her age. She was forever suggesting suitable young men – well, suitable in _her_ opinion – that she thought Anna should get to know. Anna had never told her that her heart was already taken – but by someone who wasn't available.

When Anna reached the eye hospital, she found Mrs Patmore in high spirits – she was receiving excellent care, due in no small part to the fact that she was connected to Lord Grantham. She couldn't help criticising the food however – naturally it didn't meet her high standards, but she supposed that it was 'adequate'.

"Even that stupid girl Daisy could have made a better pie than they served up yesterday, the pastry was like leather," she told Anna, making her smile. Mrs Patmore's grumbling showed that she was clearly on the mend, and should be fine to return to Downton in a few days time.

Anna was relieved when the time finally came for the nurse to chase her out of Mrs Patmore's room, explaining that it was time for lunch and then an afternoon rest.

"I'll leave you to it then, I'll come and see you again tomorrow," Anna told her as she left, impatient to be on her way. On her way out, she asked one of the nurses about the best way to get to St Thomas' Hospital, happy to learn from her that there was a bus that would take her straight there. She quickly grabbed a bite to eat for her lunch at a little café nearby, before catching the bus.

Now she could finally get on with tracking down Vera Bates.

**xXx**

St Thomas' Hospital was a large institution, and Anna had no idea which ward Vera Bates would be on, so she made her way into the main entrance, found an enquiries desk, and then asked which ward Vera Bates was on.

The woman on the enquiry desk checked the records, found what she was looking for, and then looked up at Anna enquiringly.

"Relative are you?" she asked.

"Um, yes, cousin actually," Anna lied, not sure if they had rules about only family being allowed to visit. She hadn't come this far to be turned away on some silly rule like that, and as she'd already got away with claiming to be Mr. Bates' cousin before at the barracks, she quickly decided to stick to a similar story.

"Hmm, well you're a bit early for visiting time, but as she's on Mayberry ward, I don't suppose they'll mind that too much," the woman told her, with what seemed to Anna to be a pitying look.

Anna wasn't quite sure what the woman meant by this, but decided not to question her in case it looked odd that she didn't know. So instead she just smiled back, and nodded as if she knew what she meant.

"Just follow the signs, it's quite a walk to reach it, and when you get there I hope you don't find things too…distressing," the woman told her sympathetically. The girl standing in front of her didn't look the type to collapse in vapours, but knowing what Mayberry ward was like, the woman couldn't help but feel sorry for her. Only the very sickest patients were admitted there – mostly to die.

xXx

As Anna finally found the ward, she took a deep breath and put her shoulders back as she entered. She could hear some of the patients moaning, some coughing fit to choke and others were making funny little whimpering noises. There was also a horrible pervading smell of something rotten that hit the pit of her stomach, making her want to retch, but she took a couple of deep breaths to control the urge, as she put a handkerchief over her nose. She looked around and spotted a desk with a middle aged nurse sitting at it, who looked up at her as she entered.

"I…I've come to visit my cousin, Vera Bates," Anna said, before her courage vanished and she turned tail and ran out again. This was the worst place she had ever been to in her life.

"Oh really? First time she's had anyone come to visit her, poor soul. Not many folk like coming here, but I always say if you can just put a bit of cheer in their lives before…well anyway, I'll take you over, we'll see if she's awake now," the nurse offered, leading the way over to the bed in the furthest corner of the ward.

As Anna walked past the rows of beds, she tried not to look too shocked at the condition of the patients. Clearly this ward catered for the very worst, terminal cases.

"Vera is usually pretty lucid; more's the pity for her. I think it's kinder on them if they aren't really with it, if they don't really appreciate what's going on. But she's as sharp as they come, so you can usually have a proper conversation with her anyway, more than you can say for most of them in here. But I'm afraid she gets tired out very quickly, so you won't be able to stay for long," the nurse explained.

"W..what exactly is wrong with her, you see nobody has actually explained it to me," Anna had to ask.

"Oh you poor thing, keeping it from you were they? I'm afraid it's consumption, or TB, tuberculosis to give it its proper name. By the time she was admitted it was too far advanced for anything to be done for her, and her health had not been helped by the fact that she liked a drop of 'mothers ruin' either," the nurse told her, making a drinking gesture with her hand.

"Oh right. I see," Anna replied, as they now reached the bed in the corner that the nurse had pointed to.

"Visitor for you, Vera. Your cousin, I think she said. That'll be nice for you won't it?" The nurse leant over to plump up the pillows, blocking Anna's view.

"Remember, just a few minutes with her," the nurse whispered, then went back to her desk, leaving the two women alone.

Anna forced herself to look at the woman lying in the bed, not sure what to expect, now that she was finally coming face to face with Vera Bates.

What she saw was nothing like she had pictured.

**xXx**

Vera was struggling to breathe, each laboured breath seeming to take an enormous amount of effort. The yellowish skin on her face was stretched taut across her cheekbones, there was no flesh on her to pad out her features, and she was painfully thin. Anna knew that is what TB did to a person; that was why it was called 'consumption', because the disease consumed the body.

Anna could see that Vera had probably once been an attractive woman, but now she was nothing more than skin and bone. Her thin, grey streaked hair was plastered against her fevered brow, and she turned her jaundiced eyes to look at Anna, who had sat down on a chair next to the bed.

"I aint got no cousins – well none as would come and see me here that's for sure. So who the bloody hell are you, eh?" Vera managed to say between gasps, although the effort caused her to cough into a disgusting cloth she had, and Anna couldn't help noticing that it was blood stained.

"No, you're right. I'm not your cousin. My name is Anna Smith, and I'm a friend of John Bates actually."

Anna decided that she might as well come straight to the point, there was no point in beating around the bush now she was here. As the nurse had told her, Vera was pretty sharp.

"John Bates? My old husband John? So what's your interest then, Anna Smith? John's new fancy woman, are you? Is that it?" Vera looked at Anna with a keen eye.

"No! nothing like that! I just... he's been accused…I just wanted to clear his name…" Anna had been all prepared to confront Vera about her appalling behaviour in stealing and then letting John take the blame for it, but somehow seeing the state of the woman lying in front of her, she couldn't go through with it.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come, I didn't know you were so ill…" Anna got up to leave, but Vera quickly grabbed her arm and clutched at her sleeve.

"No! no, please don't leave yet. I haven't seen nor spoken to anyone from outside this hell hole for such a long time, please just stay and talk to me, I'll tell you whatever it is you want to know…they say confession is good for the soul, don't they? And I know I've not got long before I go to meet my maker, so it'd be good to get things off me chest…" With this Vera started coughing again.

Anna slowly sat down on the chair by the bed again, appalled and yet fascinated by Vera.

After a couple of minutes, when her coughing had subsided, Vera looked at Anna with a little smile.

"I don't mind if you're sweet on John, I suppose he's a decent man who deserves a bit of good fortune, after everything he's been through. Wanna know all about what happened with him do you?"

"Well, I just wondered…" Anna started to say, but was interrupted by Vera, who seemed to be in an almost dreamlike state now as she started talking, so Anna just let her ramble on.

"Caught John with oldest trick in the book I did. In those days he was a hot blooded young man, with a mans' usual needs - if you know what I mean - so I let him have his way with me one night after he'd had a few beers. Weren't difficult, I was pretty enough in those days, although you might find it hard to believe now. Anyways, I told him I was in the family way and he'd have to do the right thing and marry me - so he did, being the decent kind of fool that he was. He was a good looking man, especially in his uniform, and he earned a decent enough wage to support a wife, so I'd decided he'd do for me."

"So you've got children?" Anna asked – John hadn't mentioned any children.

"No, it was just a lie to get him to put a ring on me finger. Told him I'd made a mistake about having a baby once we was safely wed. See, it was the only way I could escape from being a scullery maid, working from dawn to dusk, being picked on and beaten by the other staff. There was twelve of us kids at home, so I couldn't go back, me dad was just pleased to be shot of me when I got a place, he didn't care what it was like, didn't wanna know."

Anna knew that it was true that not everyone was as fortunate with their household and family as she was at Downton Abbey with the Crawley family - they treated their servants exceptionally well. She supposed she didn't know how she might have acted if she had been in Vera's place.

"Anyhows, we rubbed along well enough to start with, that is until he went off to war. That changed everything you see, changed John, changed me, bloody war…" Vera started to cough really badly now, choking and struggling to catch her breath.

The nurse looked up from her desk, and came over.

"I'm afraid you're going to have to leave now, Vera's exhausted and will need to rest," she informed Anna.

"Yes, yes of course, I'll go right now," Anna said, standing up to go.

"_Please_ come back again, please _promise_ me you'll come tomorrow, please, I need to come clean with you, I need to clear my conscience now," Vera grabbed Anna's arm again with a surprising strength.

Anna looked down at this pathetic woman - this woman that John must have loved once, that he had married, that he had lied and gone to prison to protect. She had come prepared to hate her, to do battle with her, but all she could do now was pity her. So she found herself saying,

"Yes, alright, I promise, I'll come back tomorrow afternoon, at about the same time."

With that, Vera sank back into the pillows on her bed and closed her eyes, as she put all her effort into her breathing once more.

"Thank you. You're an angel, that's what you are. An angel who's wandered into hell," she muttered, exhausted.

As Anna walked back up the ward, the nurse caught her up.

"You do realise she hasn't got long left? I'm not sure how long, but if you do come back tomorrow…"

"I promised I would," Anna reminded her.

"All I'm saying is, don't be surprised if… she hasn't lasted that long," the nurse informed her, wanting to make sure she understood how ill Vera Bates was.

"I see. Thank you for telling me," Anna said, and then gratefully headed out of the ward, out of the hospital, and into the relative fresh air of London.


	5. Chapter 5

_I own none of the characters of Downton Abbey._

**The Quiet Man**

**Chapter 5**

Anna fell into a restless sleep that night, experiencing vivid dreams of an uninjured, young and carefree John, kissing Vera, and then dancing with her in his arms, twirling her round and round, but each time he twirled her round, she gradually changed from a pretty young woman into the pathetic creature that she'd encountered at the hospital today. She woke with a start, sat up in bed and tried to shut out the disturbing images from her mind.

What on earth had she started by interfering and meddling because of her curiosity about John's previous life, thinking that she could perhaps find some way to clear his name? Perhaps Old Mrs Bates had been right when she'd told her to let sleeping dogs lie. And now she'd promised to go back again the next day, to that awful place.

Yet she knew that she _had_ to hear the rest of Vera's story – if she was still around to tell it. But Anna sensed that Vera was a very determined woman, and because for some reason she wanted to unburden herself to Anna, she would cling on to life if she possibly could. She would find out if her instinct was correct tomorrow afternoon when she would be keeping her promise to return.

**xXx**

Anna visited Mrs Patmore once again the next day, and was reassured to find her continuing her good recovery following her cataract operation. She was beginning to get impatient to return to her kitchen at Downton.

"I need to get back, that Mrs Bird will never be coping with the demands of such a large household, she's only used to looking after a small family after all," she fretted. Anna thought it more likely that she was worried that Mrs Bird was coping only _too _well while she was away, but wisely kept those thoughts to herself.

"Only a couple more days to go now before we return, but you mustn't rush things Mrs Patmore, you need to be fully recovered before you take on all your duties again," Anna told her before taking her leave.

She made sure that she had some lunch before heading over to St Thomas' hospital again. The dreadful smell on the ward yesterday was bad enough; to cope with it on an empty stomach would not be a good idea, she felt. She remembered the warning of how ill Vera Bates was that the nurse had given her as she'd left – well, she would find out soon enough if Mr Bates' wife had lasted another day.

All too soon Anna found herself walking up to the doors of Mayberry ward. She hesitated for just a moment before entering. Would Vera be strong enough to continue telling her what had happened? Yesterday she had said that things had changed when Mr. Bates had gone off to war – and Anna wanted to know exactly what she meant. Taking a deep breath, and with her handkerchief ready prepared with some fragrant lavender water, Anna walked in. She recognised the same nurse from the previous day sitting at the desk, and she looked up as Anna walked in. The place was every bit as dreadful as she recalled, and her stomach churned as the smell hit her nostrils.

"Ah you're back, Vera will be pleased, she's been asking all morning if it was time for you to come yet, she's really looking forward to seeing you. I think your visit bucked her up yesterday, she's almost got a new lease of life, seems a bit stronger than she's been for quite some time," the nurse told her with a cheerful smile. Anna couldn't imagine working in a place like this and _ever_ feeling cheerful.

"You know where she is, go straight down, but remember not to stay too long."

Anna made her way once more to the bed in the far corner. She wasn't usually one to be squeamish, but even so she avoided looking too closely at any of the other patients.

"Lord be praised, you come back!" Vera gasped, as her beady eyes spotted Anna.

"I…I promised I would, didn't I?" Anna replied, as she pulled up a chair to sit on. Vera looked a little brighter than yesterday, but still had a ghastly pallor, and her body shook with the effort of breathing. Her eyes were sunken, but Anna could see that they were brown, and had probably been one of her best features – that and her high cheekbones, now horribly emphasised by the lack of flesh padding out her face.

"Not everyone keeps their promises, do they? I know I've told a few porkie pies in my time. So how comes you know my old man then? And how'd you find me eh?"

Vera had had time to mull things over, and clearly had some questions of her own now.

"Well, I got sent to London for the week by my employer, so I took the opportunity to speak to Mr. Bates' mother. She gave me an address, and I managed to track you down from there."

"Miserable cow to me she was an' all, never did get on with her," Vera muttered.

"Mr. Bates and I work together. I'm Head housemaid at Downton Abbey and Mr. Bates is Lord Grantham's valet. But he's going to lose his job…because he went to prison…for something that I _know_ he didn't do," Anna explained, giving Vera a very hard look now, her anger and resentment at the woman only too evidently written across her face.

"Ah course, I see, _that _business. S'pose you wanna hear how it all came about then eh? That's what you're here for?" Vera coughed again into her disgusting cloth – it looked to be the same one as yesterday, and Anna could barely suppress wrinkling her nose up in disgust.

"Yes, it is. With his injuries, Mr. Bates won't be able to get another position, and it's so unfair if…if he's innocent, as I know that he _must _be."

"Ha, quite the little firebrand ain't you? All self righteous and puffed up, but you don't know it all. Things aren't always black and white you know."

"Then tell me. Tell me what happened. You said the war changed everything?"

"Yea, that's right. John got sent off to the Boer war. T'was his _duty_ to go, he says. What about his duty to his wife, left to manage at home eh? His wages was meant to get sent home to me, but they hardly ever got through, so what was I meant to live on? How was I meant to pay the rent, buy food and so on? So I had no choice, I gets meself a job at the pub round the corner, but it don't pay much. So when the Landlord asks if I want to earn a bit extra, on the side like, I jumps at it, don't I? A quick bit of 'how's your father', no questions asked, and he'll double me money."

"You mean you…with the Landlord?" Anna asked, horrified.

"Him to start with, then word gets round, and other men takes an interest…"

"But what about the risks…I mean …you know...?" Anna whispered.

"You mean getting knocked up? Well seeing as John never managed it in the year or so before he went off to war – not for lack of him having his way with me I might add, pretty keen he was - I thought I couldn't have kids. A blessing I called it, my poor old Ma had twelve kids cos me Dad couldn't keep it in his trousers, worn out with looking after us lot she was."

Anna didn't like what she was hearing at all, but forced herself to continue listening. She would never get the chance again, even if it did mean that she had to face the thought of _her_ John with this woman, doing _that _with her…things that she herself had never experienced.

"So, you never had any children?" Anna confirmed with her.

"No, but that's not to say I didn't get pregnant. Got caught out, not even sure who the father was to be honest. But I did know that with me husband away at war, I couldn't be having no baby. So the pub Landlord arranged for me to see this bloke he knew of…to get rid of it."

"You had an abortion?" Anna gasped in horror.

"Well, what else could I do, John had been away over a year by that time, nobody was gonna believe it was his, was they? But it all went wrong, bloody butcher that supposed doctor was, I was in agony. Then I got an infection and I was proper poorly, I can tell you. Meant I never would have kids after that neither. But that didn't really worry me, I never was the motherly type."

Anna had no difficulty in believing that to be true.

"Course it all meant I couldn't work, and I wasn't getting so much as a farthing from John, not even a letter to say he was still alive. He could've been dead for all I knew, the stories we was hearing about the war. So I gets into debt. The only thing that seemed to help cos it numbed everything, was a drop of gin."

Another fit of coughing now overtook Vera, and she sank back into her pillow with her eyes closed.

"I should go and leave you to rest now," Anna said, glancing up at the nurse, who was looking over to them.

"No! No, there's not much more to tell, let me get it all out now, before it's all too late. You might as well know the lot, know what kind of a man you'd be taking on in John Bates, seeing as you're so keen on him," Vera implored as she clutched at Anna's sleeve with her claw like hand.

"I don't know, you ought to take it easy…"Anna said, as she tried to extricate her arm from the Vera's vice like grip.

"Got an eternity to 'take things easy' once I've popped me clogs. You need to know it all, all about the_ real_ John Bates. You seem like a nice young girl, and pretty enough that's for sure. Can't see why you'd wanna get involved with an old cripple like him…"

"He's not! Don't speak of him that way!" Anna couldn't help speaking out protectively. Vera looked at her for a minute, studying her face and looking her up and down. Anna knew that her heated outburst had given away the depth her feelings, but she hated anyone referring to him as a 'cripple'.

"Alright ducks, alright. I'll just tell you what happened then, and you can make up your own mind about him. John comes back from the war a different man. His injured leg was pretty bad, give him a lot of pain, but that wasn't the worst of it. He wouldn't talk about the war, but he'd have these terrible nightmares, night after night, shouting out in his sleep and thrashing about. So he took to having a glass or two of whiskey to help him sleep, but that wasn't enough, so he'd have a couple more. And seeing the state I'd got in, he felt guilty and blamed himself, he realised he should've made sure his wages was getting through. But the worst thing was he _looked_ at me differently. Like I was beneath him, that I disgusted him with my 'common' ways. I blame it on mixing with them toffs, being batman to that Lord, the one you say he's working for now. Give him ideas above his station it did, turned him into a snob, reading fancy books and the like, and making these horrid, sarcastic, cutting remarks. He could be very cruel you know. And he wouldn't come anywhere near me - well with his gammy leg, he couldn't have managed to get it over anyway, if you know what I mean," Vera laughed coarsely here, causing her to splutter again.

Anna pursed her lips but managed to hold her tongue at these remarks. It was very hard to imagine the John that _she _knew being content with a vulgar woman like Vera.

"He didn't know just how much debt I'd got meself in, and I couldn't tell him, he'd have thrown me out if he'd found out the whole lot. He gets me a job at the barracks, with all the toffs – but I hated it, they all looked down their noses at me. And then the Landlord starts threatening to tell John _everything_ that I'd got up to while he was away if I didn't pay him what I owed. So when I sees a chance to take their poncy silver, I did, and so what if it ruffled a few feathers, I wasn't hurting no one, and they never actually used the stuff. But I weren't quick enough, someone saw me take it. And rather than the whole sorry story coming out, John decides to say it was him, cos he feels guilty that he never looked after me like a proper husband should, decides it was his fault and won't talk no more about it."

"And you just stood by and let him, let him go to prison, lose his reputation, lose everything?" Anna asked, astounded at the selfishness of this woman.

"Well he'd have been disgraced either way wouldn't he, even if it was his wife who got charged. What was the sense in us both being ruined? He was no use to anyone anyway with his crippled leg – and don't give me that look, he _is_ a cripple, whether you like it or not, crippled in his mind too cos of his war experiences, makes him say horrid and nasty things. I was just being practical is all. Can't say it's fair, he's not a really a bad bloke I know – least he wasn't before the bloody war changed him, but there it is. Sorry tale all round."

Vera lay back now completely exhausted, and closed her eyes as her breathing rattled in her chest.

"Well, thank you for telling me all this. I still don't think you were right to let your husband take the blame for what _you_ did, but it's too late now, what's done is done. But I shall tell his Lordship the truth, and hope he decides to let Mr. Bates stay on, once he knows that he's blameless in all this, and that he will see the injustice of your actions."

"You do whatever you think best, don't matter to me no more," Vera muttered to her as she lay there.

"Well I'll leave you now, you really must rest," Anna told Vera.

"Yes, I am bit knackered now to tell the truth. But you'll come back again tomorrow? _Please_, will you do that for me?" Vera's eyes flew open once more as she pleaded with Anna.

"I'm only here for one more day, we go back to Downton on Friday, so I suppose I can come one last time tomorrow, if you really want me to," Anna reluctantly agreed. She supposed she owed her that much, Vera had helped her by telling her the whole nasty truth now, information that would perhaps enable her to persuade Lord Grantham not to let Mr Bates go after all.

"Bless you, you're a sweet girl. Not sure John deserves someone like you…" Vera's voiced trailed off as she lapsed into sleep.

Anna quietly got up and made her way out. The nurse caught her as she reached the door.

"Thanks for coming, you've really made a difference to that poor woman you know. Very kind of you to spare the time. Are you planning to come again?"

"Yes, I said I would, but tomorrow will be the last time before I have to leave London," Anna explained.

"Ah right, well it's my last day on duty tomorrow too, so I shall see you then I expect."

With that Anna thankfully escaped into the world on the other side of the doors of Mayberry ward.


	6. Chapter 6

_I own none of the characters of Downton Abbey._

**The Quiet Man**

**Chapter 6**

Anna had much to think about. What Vera had told her about her experiences in life had really shocked her. But she supposed that she had led a pretty sheltered life, compared to someone like Vera. Anna came from a very loving and happy family – they may not have had much money to go round, but her mother and father had always ensured that their family were all very well looked after and were very protective towards all of them.

And in working at Downton Abbey, she knew she was again very lucky, because his Lordship took very good care of his staff, as proved by the fact that he had arranged for Mrs Patmore to have her eye surgery at the best hospital in London, and had also thoughtfully arranged for Anna to accompany her as well. How many employers would do that for their staff – not many, Anna knew.

So who was she to judge Vera Bates? She'd simply done what she had to do to survive. Born into extreme poverty, her parents had just been glad to get rid of her into a position as a scullery maid, the lowest position of all. Anna had heard terrible stories of households that expected such staff to work extremely long hours doing very hard manual labour, and that beatings for work not done to the very highest standards were common place. Could she really blame Vera for trying to find a way out of such a hard life? She'd been a pretty girl who'd managed to catch John's eye, so she'd used this advantage to claw her way out of her hellish life.

And John – well maybe he had fallen for Vera's wiles, as many a young man before him had. Anna knew a bit about young men's 'desires' - she had three brothers after all, and had heard enough of the male servants banter to understand that their feelings were often very strong and hard for them to contain. Hence the lock between the male and female servants quarters. So she shouldn't judge John too harshly for giving in to his natural feelings – he had been a young man in those days. The mature man he was now had been moulded from those and so many other experiences that he'd been through.

Maybe he and Vera might have made a go of things between them, had it not been for the Boer War. Both his mother and Vera had said that it had had a terrible affect on him, that it had changed his personality, as well as causing his physical disability. Most men would not speak of the terrible things that had happened during that war, but she had heard that there were things that had happened there that no man should ever experience or witness. It had profoundly affected John, that was beyond dispute. But that wasn't his fault was it? He'd had no choice, as a soldier he was doing his duty, following orders.

Anna had blindly believed that John was blameless and innocent, that there had to be another explanation of why he had gone to prison as a drunken thief. But what she'd discovered wasn't that simple, it was far more complicated and twisted, as she supposed John had tried to warn her. She didn't like everything that she had found out, but she realised now that that was what happened when you decided to open a can of worms.

xXx

Anna was thankful that this would be her last visit to see Vera at St Thomas' hospital. She had found each visit to be deeply disturbing, both because of the sheer physical horror of the illnesses contained there, but also because it had opened her eyes to the seedier parts of John's life, and she felt uncomfortable with that knowledge now.

This time as she walked into the ward, the nurse at the desk looked up but did not smile at her.

"Vera's fading fast I'm afraid. I really hoped that maybe she was getting a little bit stronger, but after you left yesterday, she just seemed to let go, and started to deteriorate."

"Oh, right, perhaps should I just go then?" Anna asked guiltily. Maybe she had worn Vera out yesterday, but she'd seemed desperate to finish telling her everything, she wanted to get it off her chest, she'd said.

"No, I think she'd still like to see you, but I'm not sure you'll get much out of her, I'm afraid my dear."

Anna looked over to the far corner of the ward to where Vera's bed was, but she couldn't see much from where she stood. So she heaved a big sigh, put her shoulders back and made her way over, trying her best to ignore the putrid smells and disturbing moans as she did so.

Vera was lying with her eyes closed, her breathing now much shallower than before, no colour at all in her cheeks. Anna quietly pulled up a chair and sat down beside her. God forbid that _anyone _should end up like this, alone, in a soulless ward full of dying bodies, with no one to mourn their passing. So she took Vera's hand gently in hers. At her touch, Vera's eyes flickered open, and a hint of a smile hovered on her lips. She tried to form some words, but no sound escaped.

"It's alright. Don't try to talk," Anna reassured her. But still Vera looked as if she wanted to say something.

"Don't worry. I understand. You did what you had to do to survive. I don't blame you, really I don't. Who knows, maybe I would have done the same if I'd been in your shoes," Anna found herself saying.

With this, Vera seemed to relax, it was as if it was important to her that Anna understood this. She closed her eyes again, and Anna watched for a while as her breathing gradually became shallower and slower. She looked up towards the nurse and caught her eye to come over.

They silently watched together as Vera slipped away and breathed her last, with Anna still holding her hand.

"I'm afraid she's gone now, my dear. It was as if she just hung on until she'd seen you today for one last time, and once she had, then she was ready to go," the nurse told Anna, as she checked Vera's pulse to confirm her passing.

Anna felt an incredible surge of sadness as she looked at the now lifeless body of Vera lying in front of her. Sadness at the waste of her life, sadness at the hardship Vera had endured, sadness at the impact she had had on John, and sadness that that now affected her life too because of her own very deep feelings for John Bates.


	7. Chapter 7

_I own none of the characters of Downton Abbey._

**The Quiet Man**

**Chapter 7**

John Bates sat on the bed in his room and finally got round to reading the latest letter he'd received from his mother – she wrote to him without fail every Sunday. He'd been handed it this morning, but had just stuffed it into his pocket to read later, not really expecting it to contain anything unusual. His mind had been on other matters.

O'Brien had overheard a conversation concerning Anna, and it had been the main topic of conversation amongst the staff at breakfast. It had been playing on his mind ever since.

"Seems our Anna has made quite an impression with Lady Rosamund during her little 'holiday' in London," O'Brien had announced, with a nasty sneer to her voice. There was no love lost between the two women, everyone knew that.

Bates' ears had pricked up at the mention of Anna's name, although he had remained his usual quiet self and made no comment. He missed dearest Anna's presence so very much, even though he had resisted allowing any further development of the feelings between them - to protect her.

But he missed just seeing her bonny face. He missed sitting next to her at meal times and feeling her move just that little bit closer to him. He missed all the little looks and smiles she sent in his direction. Oh yes, he missed her very much indeed.

But as he had told her, it was good practice for them to get used to being apart, and not seeing each other every day. Although his Lordship had not actually let him go yet following his confession to Mr Carson and Mrs Hughes, he was certain it was only a matter of time. No one with any sense would want to keep a proven thief and drunkard in their employ.

"What do you mean?" Thomas had asked as they had their breakfast.

"I overheard her Ladyship telling his Lordship that she'd had a request from Lady Rosamund in London, asking her if she would consider letting Anna go so that she could have her as her own personal Lady's Maid. So looks like she'll be moving on, lucky cow," O'Brien had explained, begrudgingly.

"She'd be a fool to turn it down if she gets offered it – Lady Rosamund loves to travel, and Anna would get to go with her. Some people have all the luck," Thomas had said resentfully. He never was one to be glad for other people's good fortune.

"Is it definite then? Is she even going to come back here to Downton?" Daisy had asked in her naïve way.

"Don't go jumping to any conclusions just yet, young Daisy. Anna will have to escort Mrs Patmore safely back to Downton, won't she? We don't know if her Ladyship even agreed to let her go, now do we? And you should know better than to start such rumours," Mrs Hughes had told O'Brien disapprovingly.

"I'm only repeating what I heard, that's all," O'Brien had said, defensively.

As Bates digested this information, he knew that he had no right to long to see Anna again. Anna was a beautiful young woman who deserved a man far better than he – or maybe she should just concentrate on her position, it really would be a wonderful opportunity for her to travel with Lady Rosamund. So it probably would be best all round if Anna were to stay in London and he was to just quietly leave Downton, but he couldn't help it - his heart selfishly longed to see her again.

And now as he read his mother's letter, he realised that there was maybe another reason why Anna would want to stay in London, and not see him again, to have nothing more to do with him. He was very surprised to learn that Anna had been to see his mother to obtain more information about the circumstances of his imprisonment.

His mother wrote at some length about what a nice young lady Miss Smith seemed - unlike that dreadful woman he had married. They had never got along at all, so no doubt his protective and biased mother had filled Anna in with _her_ version of events concerning Vera.

Bates was shocked. What on earth had possessed Anna to start poking about in the dark and murky details of his past? No good would come of it he felt, even though his dear mother would no doubt paint him in as best a light as she could. But even so, nothing could change the facts, the events that had occurred. Anna would no doubt be horrified and want nothing further to do with him once she learnt of his behaviour concerning his wife.

**xXx**

That evening as Bates helped his Lordship to dress for the evening, he chatted amiably to his valet as usual. This was one of the reasons that he was struggling to come to a decision about Bates' future – he felt very comfortable in the mans' company. He would have sworn on a bible that he was trustworthy, so he just could not believe that what Bates had confessed to could possibly be true. He was sure there simply _had _to be more to it, especially as he had received such an unusually lenient sentence, which suggested that there had been mitigating evidence.

But as Bates refused to elaborate any further as to the exact circumstances of his imprisonment, he felt that he was left with very little choice in the matter. But for now, he kept putting the decision off, because he was so reluctant to see his old war comrade go.

"So, Mrs Patmore will be back tomorrow, Bates. I imagine there may be a few ruffled feathers between her and Mrs Bird before things settle down again hmm?" Lord Grantham said.

He liked to feel that he had some idea of what was going on 'below stairs' in his household, so he had not hesitated to step in to sort out the problem with Mrs Patmore. It would normally have been taken care of by her Ladyship, but in view of his wife's 'delicate' condition and not wanting her to be worried by anything that could cause her undue stress, he had been happy to take care of things instead.

Frustratingly for Bates, he did not mention Anna returning, or any change in her future plans, and Bates would never dream of mentioning any gossip he'd heard, because he would never want his lordship to think he indulged in any kind of gossiping. It was essential that a valet was completely discreet and trustworthy.

"I'm sure they will work something out between them, your Lordship. I take it the operation was successful then?"

"So it would seem Bates, yes. I must say Mrs Bird has proved to be a worthy replacement, jolly good of the Crawleys to let her help us out in this way. But it will be good to get things back to normal."

"Indeed it will," Bates agreed.

He would have to wait until tomorrow to find out if Anna would be back – or not. And even if she was back, would she have changed her opinion of him? Had her eyes been opened to the true nature of his character, and would she now want nothing further to do with him – he would not blame her if that proved to be the case, but it would smash his heart into little pieces. Maybe it would be best then if she stayed in London, and he could retain his memories of how she had looked at him with such sweet, innocent, but naïve love.


	8. Chapter 8

_I own none of the characters of Downton Abbey._

**The Quiet Man**

**Chapter 8**

How was she going to tell Mr. Bates about the death of his wife, Vera? What words could she use? When would she get the opportunity to speak with him in private? How would he react? What would it mean for them? Would he now finally open up to her, let her get close to him?

All these thoughts, and more, went round and round in Anna's head on the train journey back to Downton after their week in London. Of course Mrs Patmore didn't stop talking, chattering on about the various members of staff at the hospital, how they had treated her, what the meals had been like, how they fell far short of her standards – on and on she went. Luckily she didn't seem to notice that Anna wasn't really paying attention – she was used to Daisy not listening to her after all.

Finally they reached their station and were met by Branson, who gave Anna a sympathetic smile as he listened to Mrs Patmore still burbling on about her experiences in London, as he loaded their cases into the car and helped them to get in.

As they finally walked back into the kitchen at Downton, Anna looked around anxiously for Mr. Bates, but she couldn't see him anywhere. Her first thought was that maybe a decision had been made and he had been let him go while she was away, but she gathered from Gwen that wasn't the case, he was just busy doing something for Lord Grantham - so Anna felt very relieved .

"What's all this we've heard about you moving to London to become Lady Rosamund's personal maid?" Gwen demanded to know while the others were engrossed listening to Mrs Patmore.

"I'll tell you all about that later, but right now I need to let his Lordship know we're back safe and sound, so do you have any idea where I might find him?" Anna asked.

She wanted to speak to Lord Grantham as soon as possible, because didn't want to take the chance that Mr. Bates would be dismissed before she had had a chance to tell him all that she had found out in London.

"You'll most likely find him in the library, I think that's where he often is at this time of day," Gwen suggested.

Mrs Patmore was now happily explaining to everyone about the glasses that she was wearing, that she only had to wear them for a week, and how she was raring to get back to work, especially with the imminent Garden Party.

So Anna quietly slipped away and quickly got changed from her travelling clothes into her uniform. Then she hurriedly made her way to find Lord Grantham. He was in the study as Gwen had suggested, and looked up at Anna as she came in.

"Your Lordship."

"Anna, you're back safely then?"

"Yes thank you, milord."

"And Mrs Patmore's fighting fit again? 'Fighting Fit' is the phrase… Oh, is something the matter?" Lord Grantham enquired, noticing Anna's serious expression.

"I wanted to see your Lordship because…" Anna hesitated.

"Please..." Lord Grantham urged her to continue, curious to find out what she had to say.

"While I was in London I learned something about Mr. Bates," Anna started to explain.

"Not bad I hope?"

"No, not bad at all. I'd have told Mr. Carson, but I thought you might like to hear it from me first."

"Go on…"

"You see, I went to call on Mr. Bates mother…"

**xXx**

John Bates cursed the fact that he was right at the top of the house in the attic when Branson returned from the station. His Lordship had instructed him to find a particular suit for him to try on in preparation for the Garden Party, and it had been stored away up there.

So he did not see Anna return. But he soon found out from the other members of staff that she _was _back – although no one seemed to know whether it was for good, or simply to collect her belongings in preparation for her return to a new position in Lady Rosamond's London household.

By the time that Bates managed to get to the kitchen, he gathered from the others that Anna had disappeared almost as soon as she had walked back in. To him, this did not bode well. It seemed that she was avoiding him, that she did not wish to see him. His spirits were brought low by this, but they were soon brought lower still by the tragedy that befell Lady Grantham. She suffered a terrible fall as she got out of her bath, slipping on an unseen bar of soap, and it proved to be such a bad fall that it caused her to miscarry her baby. Everyone was deeply shocked by this turn of events.

Once the doctor had attended and it was clear that nothing more could be done, Bates sought out his Lordship, feeling that he ought to make sure that he was alright, and that he shouldn't be alone in his grief at this time.

"The doctor's gone, your Lordship. But he's coming back after dinner. Lady Mary's with her Ladyship now," he informed him.

"Thank you."

"I don't suppose you'll want to change. But is there anything else I can do to be useful?" Mr. Bates wanted to do anything he could to try to ease the poor man's obvious distress.

Lord Grantham found himself unable to stifle his sobs as he confided to Bates, "It was a boy."

He struggled to regain his control, unused to giving way to his emotions in front of anyone.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to embarrass you."

But Bates didn't think any the less of Lord Grantham for allowing his feelings to show in such a way; to him it proved what a decent and caring man he was.

"I'm not embarrassed. I just wish you could have been spared this," he assured him.

"I know you do, thank you. By the way, Anna's told me what she learned in London," Lord Grantham said, trying to regain his composure.

"Has she? She's not told me." Bates was shocked, as he had no idea what on earth Anna could have said.

"Oh! Well the good news is you won't be leaving Downton. And I need some good news today," Lord Grantham told him, glad that this matter had finally been resolved to his immense satisfaction.

Bates was relieved, although somewhat puzzled, but he still felt immense sadness at his Lordships' grief. He said no more, but quietly left and made his way back to the kitchens, determined to try to find Anna and somehow find a way to speak to her on her own, to find out what exactly she had told Lord Grantham.

But of course that proved to be impossible. Anna was there, in the kitchen, but so was everyone else, all sat around the table, in a state of shock and sadness.

Except of course Thomas. Bates could not believe how insensitive he was, both about the miscarriage – and about William's recent loss of his mother. He really was an uncaring bastard, and no one blamed William for setting on him, and agreed with Branson's sentiments that '_he had that coming_'

**xXx**

Finally, at the end of a very long, eventful evening, everyone started to make their way off to bed, but Anna hung back and lingered, looking over at Bates, trying to signal to him to also hang back. He quickly picked up on her hint, offering to lock up for Mr. Carson as he sometimes did, and then made his way to just outside the kitchen door, where hopefully now they would be able to talk and not be disturbed.

Within a couple of minutes, Anna also made her way out. She knew that although Gwen would be curious as to why she would be late in coming to bed, she could trust her not tell any one to get her into trouble.

Now at last they were alone together and could talk.


	9. Chapter 9

_I own none of the characters of Downton Abbey._

**The Quiet Man**

**Chapter 9**

_A quick update in answer to all the howls of protest at the ending of the previous chapter - hope you prefer this one._

For a moment, they simply stood and gazed at each other on that warm, still summer's night. It was sheer heaven for them just to be able to look into each other's eyes, without having to worry about being seen by anyone else, especially after a long week apart. They could both feel, they could both sense, the intense attraction between them, no words were required to explain it.

Eventually Bates was the first to break the silence between them, because he desperately wanted some answers from her.

"Anna, I know you called on my mother – she told me of your visit in her letter – she liked you, by the way. And I know you've somehow managed to convince his Lordship not to dismiss me."

"I had to find out the truth. I had to know why you took the blame for something I knew you would never do. And Lord Grantham was very relieved to learn the truth."

"But you see, you don't know the whole truth, not even now. You know my mother's truth, but not my wife's," Bates insisted.

Anna nervously bit her lip, not sure how he would react to what she was going to tell him next.

"Oh but you see, I do know your wife's truth."

"What…what do you mean? You can't mean that you…?"

"Yes Mr. Bates. I went and saw Vera, your wife, because I had to know everything – to understand how you ended up in prison."

"I really don't think that was a good idea Anna. What right did you have…?"

"Surely I have a right to know everything about the man I love?"

"But how in God's name did you find her? I haven't had any contact with her in years, even I wouldn't have a clue where to start."

"Your mother gave me an address, and although she had moved on from there, with some help I managed to track her down. You see, I felt I had to take the opportunity while I was in London, and I'm glad that I did, because I found out what I needed to know." _And a whole lot more that I didn't, _Anna thought to herself.

"So where on earth was Vera?" Bates really hated the thought of Anna trawling round the seedier parts of London as he suspected she would have had to have done in order to find Vera. Anything could have happened to her and then he would never have forgiven himself.

"In St Thomas' hospital. That's where I found her."

"Hospital? Why, what's wrong with her?"

"Consumption. She was there because she had TB."

"Oh, right, is it serious? I mean, can they treat her?"

Anna took a deep breath now as she told him,

"I'm truly very sorry, but there was nothing more they could do for her. I was with her at the end when she passed away. But before she did, she told me everything. She explained that things weren't simple and clear cut, it was a whole mix of things that went wrong, and that she really didn't hold you to blame for everything as your mother seemed to think you did, but that she did blame your war experiences. So that wasn't your fault, was it? You were just a soldier in the war, doing your duty and following orders. In the end, Vera and I reached a kind of understanding between us, and I can tell you that she passed away peacefully."

Anna looked intently at Bates now to try to gauge how her news was affecting him. She watched as a series of emotions flickered over his face. Shock, sorrow, anger. He passed his hand over his face and then let it rest over his eyes.

"Dear God. I really didn't expect that."

Anna waited quietly, giving him time to work out his feelings. Eventually he gave a deep sigh, and started talking quietly, needing to confide his side of the story to her, much as Vera had, maybe to finally close an unhappy chapter of his life.

"You know, despite everything, I do still feel sad that she has passed away. It's such a waste of a life that could have turned out so differently, she started out with such promise. She was a pretty young thing when we first met. I remember clearly the first time I saw her across the room, with her glossy dark hair and big brown eyes. Looked straight across and smiled at me she did,and hot blooded young fool that I was, I was smitten straight away, and started courting her. Trouble was, I hadn't learnt to control myself then, as a decent man should, and well, I didn't respect her…virtue. So when she thought herself to be in the family way, I had to do the decent thing and marry her. Turned out to be a false alarm, but that didn't change the fact that I had behaved less than honourably towards her. It can be very difficult for a young man, you know, with his needs and desires, but nevertheless I should have kept myself under tighter control."

Anna wisely let him talk and didn't interrupt him. She had heard Vera's side of things and so knew that she had actually seduced him to get him to marry her, but what good would it do to tell him all this now?

"I think we were happy enough to start with, I was a young man with a pretty young wife to attend to his physical needs now, and she had a husband to support her. But then I went away to fight in the Boer war, and everything changed. I neglected my responsibilities as her husband while I was away from home. Vera struggled to survive while I was away. Then I came back, injured and bitter, and I stupidly sought solace in drink. I know I treated Vera badly, although I never physically hit her – I never stooped quite that low, but I lashed her verbally, that I do know. At least it was a blessing that we never had children to get mixed up in any of this sorry tale. She'd got herself into financial difficulties while I was away, but was too scared to tell me, which was why she stole the silver. She should never have had to resort to that, it was my fault, that's why I took the blame, why I confessed to stealing the silver. I was no good to her anyway, crippled as I was, so I thought it might as well be me who went to prison."

Bates now looked at Anna, to see her reaction. She didn't seem too shocked or horrified, he was relieved to see, but then she was such a dear, sweet natured girl, who only ever seemed to want to see the good in him. She was too young, too naïve to really understand him, he feared.

"So you see, I am not the best of men, whatever you have let yourself believe. But when I was in prison, I vowed to turn my life around, to make a new man of myself, and not to let the wretched war ruin any more of my life, or I might as well have died out there. So now I do not touch so much as a drop of alcohol, and I have learnt discipline to control my urges and my bad temper. But even so, I still do not think that a beautiful, innocent young woman like you should let herself be involved with a man like me, you could do so much better for yourself."

"Isn't that for me to decide? All your experiences have made you the man you are today, the man that I love and respect. So are you telling me that you don't love me back – because if you are, then I shall call you a liar, John Bates."

With that, Anna reached up to kiss him, running her hands round the back of his neck to pull his lips down onto hers, pressing her body against his ardently.

Bates groaned as he finally let his guard down and kissed her back, kissed her with a passion and intensity that he had kept under such a tight reign for so long, knowing that once he relinquished control he would be lost, that his feelings would be undeniable and there could be no going back. Now he put his hands round her waist and pulled her to him tightly, not wanting to let her go as he deepened their kiss.

Anna responded with equal passion, thrilled that finally Bates was allowing himself to let go, and accepting their undeniable attraction to each other, and she found that she was experiencing new exciting feelings that made her dizzy and light-headed.

Finally they broke apart, breathless but exhilarated, still in each others arms, as Bates answered her,

"Of course I love you Anna. I've loved you for so long, but I couldn't let myself act on those feelings, not while I was still a married man."

"I know. I understand. That's why I had to find Vera, had to find out if there was any way that we could work something out to be together – as well as being able to tell Lord Grantham that you _were_ the innocent man that we all knew you were, so that you would not lose your position here at Downton."

Suddenly Bates broke away from her as he recalled what he'd heard before about her moving to London.

"But Anna! What about you, what about your new position in London? We heard about Lady Rosamund wanting you to be her Lady's maid."

"Hush now, don't worry about that," Anna urged, as she tried to pull him to her to kiss him again, but he resisted as he argued back,

"No Anna, it would be a wonderful opportunity for you, you _must_ take it, I can't hold you back."

"Oh I must, must I? Well maybe Lady Grantham doesn't want to let me go, and maybe I don't want to go either, have you considered that?"

"But Anna, you could travel the world with her…"

"Well if this war comes, as everyone says it will, then there will be no travelling, will there? And you've met Lady Rosamund, haven't you? Very demanding and quite difficult at times – rather like her mother, the Dowager Countess I'd say. So I would much prefer to stay here at Downton as Head Housemaid, and look after the girls. Oh, and there's this man that I'm in love with too, did I tell you about him?"

With this, she ran her hands inside Bates jacket and cuddled up against him, thrilled to be so close to him and to be able to put her face against his big solid chest.

Then, as they heard a door slamming inside the house, they were painfully reminded of where they were, so Bates reluctantly pulled away from her saying,

"Come on Anna, it really is late now, I think we should go back inside before anyone realises we're still out here. We'll talk more about this tomorrow hmm?"

And then Bates led her back inside, and locked up as he had promised Mr. Carson he would, somewhat earlier that the evening.


	10. Chapter 10

_I own none of the characters of Downton Abbey._

**The Quiet Man**

**Chapter 10**

Anna crept back into her room as quietly as she could, and was thankful to discover that Gwen was fast asleep and even snoring just a little bit, so she would not realise just how late it was when Anna returned.

Anna knew now that all the horrid experiences she had encountered in London to get to the bottom of the mystery of John Bates had been worth it, _more_ that worth it. Not only was he now able to remain at Downton, he had also finally felt able to admit that he _did_ love her just as much as she loved him. Nothing that she had found out about his past deterred her; he had become the man he was _because_ of his past. Now she felt that she could help him to leave the past behind and look instead to the future - hopefully together in some way.

She lay there, unable to sleep, unable to stop smiling. She ran her fingers over her lips trying to recapture the wonderful sensation of John's lips on hers. Then she ran her hands down her body to her waist, recalling how just the touch of his big powerful hands had thrilled her, stirring feelings in her that were still making her tingle and shiver, how she hadn't wanted him to stop, hadn't wanted the moment to ever end. Oh, he had felt so good, had smelt so intoxicating as she'd put her head against his big broad chest, and she longed to feel him against her again. She couldn't help herself, she let her mind wander, imagining how it would feel if they could be _properly_ alone together , touching each other in ways that she now yearned for more than she had ever thought was possible. She blushed in the darkness at her wantonness, but couldn't help herself, as she continued to imagine how wonderful it would be to have John Bates making love to her.

**xXx**

John Bates also lay awake in the dark, alone in his room, unable to sleep. Of course he loved Anna, he loved her so much that it physically hurt at times, and it was a relief to finally be free to tell her out loud what he thought she already knew in her heart.

His body ached for her; just her touch today had set him on fire with desire for her, as he had known it would. It was why he had resisted any contact with her for so long, given his very passionate nature. He groaned to himself as he recalled the feeling of her firm, full breasts pressed up against him, of her lips kissing him, so warm and sweet. She was such an innocent young woman, she could have no idea of how her actions stirred such strong desire in him, but he would not do anything to insult her virtue, in that he was determined.

But it wasn't just his physical feelings for her that drew him to her so completely. He found it astounding that she had gone to such lengths to clear his name, so determined was she in her belief that he was innocent of the charges against him. What must she have gone through to find Vera, and then be with her when she died, having listened to things that she must have found disturbing and upsetting? But still she persisted in declaring her love for him. She was undoubtedly an incredible woman and he still could not truly believe that he deserved her. But he would do everything in his power to ensure her happiness and well being, of that he was certain.

**xXx**

"Is something the matter Bates?" Robert asked, realising that he was lingering after he had completed his duties.

"No…that is…I…well, I wondered if I might have a word milord, on something…of a …somewhat personal nature," Bates finally managed to say. He felt incredibly nervous about the matter he wanted to speak about.

"Of course. Well? Out with it man!" Robert prompted, as Bates still hesitated.

"First of all, I wanted to thank you for your generosity in deciding to keep me on here at Downton."

"Ah, well, you have Anna to thank for that. Quite the detective she proved to be, it would seem. Knew you would never have been a petty thief Bates, had to be more to it than that, but let's not speak of it any more now, it's best forgotten about hmm? But I do think you're a lucky man to have a woman like her fighting in your corner, eh?"

"Yes, indeed, and you see it's Anna that I need to talk to you about, milord," Bates finally managed to confess.

"Oh, really? In what way?" Robert asked, his curiosity now piqued.

"I…I… wondered…that is, I know…staff are not normally allowed to get married whilst in service, but I just wondered if there was any way that you would consider allowing an exception to this. You see, I…I wish to propose to Anna, but with my disability, I would not be able to obtain another position somewhere else that would allow me to support a wife. But maybe if you would possibly consider allowing us to stay in service here at Downton, perhaps if we could be considered for one of the workers cottages, then we could complete our duties in exactly the same way as we do now. But if that would not be acceptable to you milord, then I will not be in a position to ask Anna to marry me. And indeed, as I have not yet asked her, she may well turn me down in any case, but I need to know about this first, to be able to make an informed offer to her. I trust you do not think me impertinent to ask about this, milord."

Bates now held his breath to see if Lord Grantham was appalled by his request. He hated asking his Lordship for yet another special favour after he had already been remarkably good in keeping him on, but he really could see no other solution that would allow him to ask Anna to be his wife.

He was surprised to be thumped on the back by his master.

"Well, well, Bates, I'd thought that maybe Anna had a bit of a crush on you, to have gone to so much trouble to clear your name, and now it turns out that you're sweet on her too," he chuckled in amusement. "Of course I shall have to discuss this with her Ladyship, to see what she feels about it, but I can't say as I'd raise any objections to such an arrangement. With the war that's undoubtedly coming, we shall no doubt lose quite a few of our young men as they volunteer or get called up, so it would be good to know that we still have someone with your experience that we can rely on. And I know Cora was keen to keep Anna here, didn't like the idea of losing her to my sister in London at all, she feels she does such a marvellous job looking after our girls you see. Leave it with me old man, I'll let you know. But in the meantime, I'd suggest it's best we keep this just between us two men hmm? Just until it's sorted one way or the other, you'd best be discreet about things between you and Anna," Robert suggested and Bates happily agreed with this, realising that it was a very sensible suggestion.

Robert continued chuckling to himself as he watched his valet leave the room. Bates hardly needed his walking stick these days, his leg was much improved, but it would never be completely normal, that much was obvious, and he would not be going off to war again.

It was good to have some cheerful news, after all the horrid events of late, and the gloom of impending war hanging over their heads, and Robert decided that he rather liked the idea of Bates finding some personal happiness after so many years of turmoil – maybe he was just an old romantic at heart. And Anna would be good for him, he thought, so he decided that he would impress on Cora that he thought it was a good idea, and hope that he could persuade her of the benefits of a rather unusual arrangement.

**xXx**

Now when they sat next to each other at mealtimes, Anna and Bates let their legs brush against each other under the table, or their hands touch as they passed the salt or whatever else they could use as an excuse. Both felt a frisson of excitement at the merest touch between them, but they had to keep their feelings secret they both knew. However strong their attraction, neither wanted to risk _anything_ that could lead to the other being dismissed. And with O'Brien and Thomas only too keen to find an excuse to stir things up and make trouble for either of them, they knew they had to be extremely careful and discreet.

Being dismissed without a reference, as would be the case for such inappropriate behaviour, would mean no prospect of attaining any other gainful employment; it would mean total ruination. This was why Bates had been so nervous in broaching the subject with Lord Grantham. A different employer may well have decided to dismiss one or both of them anyway, at even a hint of 'feelings' developing between staff. Bates had felt pretty confident that his master would not react in such a way, but it had still been a gamble. And he had not yet received an answer back from him – with her Ladyship still recovering from her miscarriage, Lord Grantham felt that he had to wait for the right moment to discuss it with her.

So there were not many opportunities for them to be alone. Bates knew that if they both lingered behind every night with him offering to lock up for Mr. Carson as he had done before, it wouldn't take long for someone to work out what was going on. And no way would he ever dream of suggesting to Anna that she should come through the locked door between the male and female quarters to his room at night, or that he should ever come to the room she shared with Gwen. It would be very un-gentlemanly behaviour and would mean instant dismissal if they were caught.

So Bates and Anna just had to wait, wait to get an answer back from Lord Grantham to a question that Anna did not even know he had asked, and make do with snatched conversations and longing looks to supplement the ever increasingly erotic dreams they both experienced every night.


	11. Chapter 11

_I own none of the characters of Downton Abbey._

**The Quiet Man**

**Chapter 11**

A few days later, Bates sought Anna out just after breakfast, before she headed off to do her chores.

"Anna, come here!" he called to her from just outside the kitchen door, urgently beckoning to her to come over.

Anna looked around carefully to make sure that no one was watching before heading out to join him.

"What? I can't stop long, I'll be missed," she told him, but was still thrilled to have a few stolen moments with him, already she could feel her pulse quickening.

"It's your half day off this afternoon, isn't it?"

"Yes, but…"

"Well mine's been changed to this afternoon too. So we can meet up, that is …if you'd like to?"

"Yes, of course I would, but how…"

"I'll explain it all later. Think of somewhere we can go – but I have to get back now," Bates shot her a big smile as he went back inside, leaving her thoroughly puzzled. Why would his half day have been changed to the same as hers?

**xXx**

As Bates had been assisting his Lordship to get dressed that morning, Robert had casually asked,

"Still keen on marrying Anna are you, Bates?" with a teasing smile on his face.

"Err…yes…that is…if you…or if she…" Bates stuttered, somewhat taken aback.

"Well then, you'll be pleased to know that I have discussed the matter with her Ladyship, and she is of the same opinion as me – that as long as you are able to continue to perform your duties in the same manner as you do now, we have no objections to you and Anna getting married."

Cora had taken a little convincing about it, but as Robert had pointed out, many things would be changing in war time in any case, and this way they would be able to keep two excellent members of staff.

"I think it's about time that Bates had the love of a good woman, and he'd look after Anna very well, I'm certain about that. It's a good match," he'd told her.

"Are you sure it's really what Anna wants though? I know you've assured me that he's been completely exonerated of all the accusations against him, but even so, he's quite a bit older than her, and with him being…" Cora had nearly said 'crippled' but quickly remembered in time that Robert hated her using that term. "What I mean is, are you sure that Anna will welcome his attentions?"

Cora felt quite protective towards Anna, remembering as she did how loyal and trustworthy she was, especially with regard to her quiet, calm assistance in dealing with the 'Pamuk' incident – of which Robert was still mercifully unaware.

"Oh I think it's safe to say that she will 'welcome his attentions' as you put it. After all, Anna went out of her way to prove Bates was innocent of the charges against him. No, I think she would happily accept him."

Robert had recalled the look on Anna's face as she'd earnestly informed him of the information she'd unearthed in London, obviously desperate to have Bates stay at Downton. He was sure she had feelings for his valet.

Cora had let out a big sigh, as she smiled over at her husband and told him,

"You are such an old softie Robert! If you're so set on this, then I guess I can go along with it. After all, I suppose it does mean that we won't lose Anna, not unless she gets …"

"Yes, well, quite, not sure I need to know about any of that kind of thing," Robert had hastily interrupted. He always found such talk highly embarrassing.

So now he took great pleasure in seeing Bates' reaction to his pronouncement, as he saw a deep blush creep over the man's face.

"I will talk to Mr. Matthew Crawley about you having one of the workers cottages. As I expect you are aware, he has been overseeing the refurbishment of some of them, so he'll know when one will be available. Oh and err…I understand from my wife that it is Anna's afternoon off today, so I suggest that you take the afternoon off too. Think you might have something rather important that you want to ask her, hmm?"

"Oh…right…yes, thank you, that is most generous of you milord," Bates managed to say, as he tried to carry on as normal with his duties.

Robert couldn't help smiling to himself as he noticed Bates' hand was shaking now as he tried to put his cufflink through.

"So, do let me know how you get on, because I will need to talk to Carson and Mrs Hughes if…"

"Yes, of course, but in any case she may not accept me."

"I'd be very surprised if that was the case Bates, very surprised indeed."

**xXx**

Anna normally spent part of her afternoon off in the village on errands before heading off to visit her nearby family at tea time. After a hasty whispered conversation at lunchtime with Mr. Bates, they agreed that to avoid causing any gossip, they would not leave the house together and instead arranged to meet at the village church for a walk around its pretty grounds, as it was a lovely summer day.

Bates arrived first, and as he stepped inside the old Saxon church to wait, he breathed in the intriguing mixture of scents that pervaded the air, scents of old oak wood and stonework from the ancient building, and it seemed to him to evoke the spirits of all the people who had passed this way before him over the preceding centuries, all their footsteps having worn away the middle of the stone aisle. The sunlight was streaming in through the beautiful stained glass window, creating an uplifting, peaceful calm in the building, and somehow, at that moment, Bates knew that everything was going to be alright.

So he managed to relax a little, having felt quite sick with nerves up until that point, unable to contemplate how he was going to react if Anna turned him down.

Then he heard the latch lift and the creak of the heavy door opening. Anna was here.

**xXx**

Anna walked into the church, blinded for a moment by the sunlight streaming in through the stained glass window, so it took a moment for her eyes to adjust before she could see John. He was standing towards the front of the church, staring at her and smiling – she couldn't recall him smiling in such a happy relaxed way before, as he walked up to greet her.

As they met, he gently kissed her cheek, before taking her hand and leading her to sit in one of the pews with him.

"Now are you going to tell me what's going on, Mr. Bates?" she asked.

"I think it's safe for you to call me _John_ here, don't you?" he gently rebuked her.

"Alright then, are you going to tell me what's going on, _John_?" she played along with him, and he discovered that he loved hearing her speak his Christian name.

"Well you see Anna, his Lordship gave me the afternoon off because…"

He hesitated for a moment because this was a momentous question he was about to ask.

"Yes?"

"Because he knew that I had a very important question that I wanted to ask you, Anna. A question that will change both of our lives forever, depending on your answer."

Suddenly Anna realised what this was all about, what it was that John was about to ask her, and she nearly forgot to breathe because time seemed to stand still as she watched and listened to him, seemingly in slow motion.

"Anna, I love you with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my being. I wish, more than anything else, to spend the rest of my life with you. Anna, will you do me the greatest honour by consenting to be my wife? Will you marry me?"

He was still holding her hand in his, and now lifted it to his lips to place a gentle kiss on it, as he looked into her eyes, where she had tears brimming.

"Oh John, I love you too, with all my heart and soul, so _yes,_ yes I will marry you!"

With this she put her arms around his neck and buried her face there, letting her tears of joy fall unchecked, while he held her to him tightly, so relieved that she had said 'yes'.

They stayed like this for several minutes, until they were interrupted by the creaking of the church door as it opened to let the curate in, causing them to hastily break apart.

"We've still much to discuss, so let's go for that walk around the grounds hmm?" suggested Bates, as he helped Anna to her feet to make their way out.

"Yes, I'd like that," Anna agreed, as they walked out into the lovely summers afternoon.

Bates offered her his arm which Anna took, as they now strolled together through the grounds of the church, relishing having some time together by themselves.

"So, what exactly did you mean about his Lordship knowing that you wanted to ask me something?"

"Before I could even consider proposing to you Anna, I had to establish whether we could make a decent life for ourselves together, to know exactly what I would be offering you. So I asked Lord Grantham that if were I to propose to you, and should I be fortunate enough that you accepted me, would he consider allowing us both to continue in his service, but as a married couple."

"John! But that's unheard of! What on earth did he say?"

"Well, he seemed happy enough about it, but naturally he had to speak with her Ladyship to obtain her approval before he could agree to anything."

"Oh. I see, of course." Anna nodded.

Perhaps that explained the rather searching look she'd received earlier today from her Ladyship when she'd asked Anna how she was settling back at Downton after her trip to London.

"And then finally this morning, his Lordship informed me that after discussing the matter with her Ladyship, they had agreed that as long as we continued to carry out our duties in exactly the same way as before, they would allow us to continue in their employ as a married couple. And…"

"What? What else did he say?"

"He said he'd be happy for us to have one of the workers cottages on the estate. So what do you think, honestly? I know you've already said 'yes' to my proposal, but do you really think it would be acceptable to you to continue in your job and for us to live in one of the cottages, as husband and wife?"

John was worried that he'd made some very large assumptions about what Anna would want, what would make her happy. Perhaps he'd got it all wrong? Perhaps she hated the idea of living in one of the cottages with him.

By now they had walked to the far end of the church grounds, to a very secluded spot that had a very convenient bench to sit on, which they took advantage of.

Anna turned to John as they sat down together, and taking his hand in hers she told him,

"Yes John, of course it would be _more_ than acceptable to me, having one of the cottages to ourselves would be my idea of heaven."

"You're sure? _Really_ sure I mean? Perhaps you need time to think about it, I wouldn't want to rush things."

"Rush things? John, it's taken over two years to get you to propose to me, so I would hardly call that rushing things, would you? Oh come here, you silly man, of course I'm sure!" Anna told him, as she leaned over to kiss him.

But John pulled back just for a second.

"You've wanted me to propose for that long? You knew you wanted to marry me right from the beginning?" he asked her incredulously.

"Of course. It was love at first sight for me, wasn't it for you?" Anna demanded to know.

"Well yes it was actually, from the day I arrived and saw you smile at me, when everyone else was being so unwelcoming. But I never let myself believe that someone like you would ever be interested in someone like me, or that I would ever be in a position to allow myself to dream of being with you.

"Well you won't have to dream for much longer will you? Soon we can be together every day – and every _night_…"

"You _naughty _girl," John whispered, as he pulled her to him for a long lingering kiss, glad that they were in a very private part of the grounds.

**THE END**

**Now continued in 'To Have and to Hold' the 'M' rated sequel**


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